Poems by Erin McGee Ferrell

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Erin McGee Ferrell

Professionally a Visual Artist for over 30 years, I occasionally have poems that come to me. Please look at my paintings, ArtistAMERICAN.com, and understand that both the pen and the paintbrush do the same job. One I am a master of, the other...poetry...a novice. The past year I have dealt with Breast Cancer. My collection of works on this site reflect this unexpected and difficult journey. The Pirate Crew Paper Doll Collection is a Breast Cancer Educational Tool featuring Ms. Mastectomy, Ms. Chemotherapy, Ms. Radiation, Ms. Oophorectomy, and Ms. BRCA2. These works are dedicated to all who have walked in this path.

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A Poem To Mark a Year Of Grief

A year has passed.

My son no longer wants to be home. Choosing Athena over his family. His bed only conforming to his body less than seven nights, in a couple of days he moves out, taking the clothes I've bought and washed and lovingly folded.

Angus, no longer needs us or wants us.

We are replaced and the pain cuts deep.

This poem marks the season of SE - not communicating, of hard liquor at the cabin and being deceptive, telling us she doesn't believe in Jesus and spitting on our treasures.

The Yes just passed, shining a light on Fiona's anxiety and her need for tools to help her with this.

Erin McGee Ferrell

Q U I E T Sunday

Fiona, upstairs with tiny boxes of cereal, watching a movie.

All cuddled up, warm with hugs and kisses.

Even at 13, she loves, laughs and clings.

Rainy mist at 8am.

Walk up and down the hill with blow horn for bears.

Now with NPR and hot coffee, bible and kale smoothie.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

Two Weeks Done

I can sleep on my side.

I can slowly ride a stationary gym bike.

I can shower.

I can make my bed.

I can begin trying to stretch my arms.

I have to wear a special bra for four more weeks.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

Broken Together inthewaitingroom

You and I sit nearby, both in hospital gowns.

Never having met before, your neck is scarred and red.

This is my first day...

We talk in this early morning gathering.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

I'm NOT Buying Soup

I used to buy soup...

For the food offering basket at church.

I used to be a foster parent...

Sacrificing time, money, and emotions for children needing a home I used to give away gum and coin.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

Silent House

ONE ARMED, I woke up and got dressed, went to step class and took a bath:

Got dressed, changed sheets and made bed.

Noon already.

Having one less arm slows a person DOWN.

My house is in silence.

Even one but me at school and work.

Erin McGee Ferrell

Please Look Me In The Eye

With my newly-shaved head, please look me in the eye.

At the gym, no-one knows where to look.

An elephant in the room, I would do the same.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

All In The Room

We are All In This Room.

Together.

Finally.

Angus home from West Point - painfully agreeing to spend 3 nights away from Athena at the cabin. Now reading Muscle Magazines next to me on the couch. We hiked up Mount Cardigan today with a foot of snow, then we gave two stranded hikers a ride back to their car. Fiona, quiet on our bed reading teen magazines.

All together now, just for a fleeting moment. I'm not under the illusion that this hour will last beyond the night.

Thank you God for this cabin, be it small and humble - it is our only property. I don't know the next time Angus will agree to be with us in this place.

by Erin McGee Ferrell

Transplanting Gardens

Yesterday I transplanted bits of my garden from NJ to MAINE.

HYDRANGEA, PEONY, BLACKBERRY VINE, CORAL BELLS, RHUBARB.

Dead looking bulbs come out of wet plastic bags that Lee and Camille lovingly packed.

Int. MAINE soil on a lovely warm November day.

Will these bulbs take root?

Will my clippings adapt and adopt this foreign strange soil?

Erin McGee Ferrell

GREEN Sleepy Turtle View

GREEN And Blue Lily Pads.

Get me out of this situation.

My legs hurt from biking.

Water colours turning out horribly well.

Bikes strewn on path.

Erin McGee Ferrell

PREPARATION

I have 10 days to prepare for the journey.

Double Mastectomy, 6 weeks limited arm us , possible Chemo.

Lord, help me to know how to do this.

My studio as a happy place to maybe paint with my feet.

Christmas decorated and wrapped.

Bills paid and blogs posted.

Erin McGee Ferrell

The NEED to Repaint

Why this need to repaint my son's room?

Delivered to West Point less than 3 days past this morning, I stripped the bed and walls, cleaned the desk out, bought a new rug, sheets and comforter.

It is not to purge my son out of my house - it is to change with him.

Recreating the space from teenage boy to New Man.

Still will be Angus' room - just nicer.

Preparing the space to welcome home my son with splendor.

Erin McGee Ferrell