A Ballad of Burial

If down here I chance to die,

 Solemnly I beg you take

All that is left of "I"

 To the Hills for old sake's sake,

Pack me very thoroughly

 In the ice that used to slake

Pegs I drank when I was dry —

 This observe for old sake's sake.

To the railway station hie,

 There a single ticket take

For Umballa — goods-train — I

 Shall not mind delay or shake.

I shall rest contentedly

 Spite of clamor coolies make;

Thus in state and dignity

 Send me up for old sake's sake.

Next the sleepy Babu wake,

 Book a Kalka van "for four."

Few, I think, will care to make

 Journeys with me any more

As they used to do of yore.

 I shall need a "special" break —

Thing I never took before —

 Get me one for old sake's sake.

After that — arrangements make.

 No hotel will take me in,

And a bullock's back would break

 'Neath the teak and leaden skin

Tonga ropes are frail and thin,

 Or, did I a back-seat take,

In a tonga I might spin, —

 Do your best for old sake's sake.

After that — your work is done.

 Recollect a Padre must

Mourn the dear departed one —

 Throw the ashes and the dust.

Don't go down at once. I trust

 You will find excuse to "snake

Three days' casual on the bust."

 Get your fun for old sake's sake.

I could never stand the Plains.

 Think of blazing June and May

Think of those September rains

 Yearly till the Judgment Day!

I should never rest in peace,

 I should sweat and lie awake.

Rail me then, on my decease,

 To the Hills for old sake's sake.