A CONFIDENCE

Uncle John, he makes me tired;

Thinks‘ at he's jest so all-fired

Smart,‘ at he kin pick up, so,

Ever'thing he wants to know.

Tried to ketch me up last night,

But you bet I would n't bite.

I jest kep’ the smoothes’ face,

But I led him sich a chase,

Could n't corner me, you bet —

I skipped all the traps he set.

Makin’ out he wan'ed to know

Who was this an’ that girl's beau;

So‘ s he‘ d find out, do n't you see,

Who was goin’‘ long with me.

But I answers jest ez sly,

An’ I never winks my eye,

Tell he hollers with a whirl,

“Look here, ai n't you got a girl?”

Y’ ought‘ o seen me spread my eyes,

Like he‘ d took me by surprise,

An’ I said, “Oh, Uncle John,

Never thought o’ havin’ one.”

An’ somehow that seemed to tickle

Him an’ he shelled out a nickel.

Then you ought to seen me leave

Jest a-laffin’ in my sleeve.

Fool him — well, I guess I did;

He ai n't on to this here kid.

Got a girl! well, I guess yes,

Got a dozen more or less,

But I got one reely one,

Not no foolin’ ner no fun;

Fur I‘ m sweet on her, you see,

An’ I ruther guess‘ at she

Must be kinder sweet on me,

So we‘ re keepin’ company.

Honest Injun! this is true,

Ever’ word I‘ m tellin’ you!

But you wo n't be sich a scab

Ez to run aroun’ an’ blab.

Mebbe‘ t ai n't the way with you,

But you know some fellers do.

Spoils a girl to let her know

‘ At you talk about her so.

Do n't you know her? her name‘ s Liz,

Nicest girl in town she is.

Purty? ah, git out, you gilly —

Liz‘ ud purt‘ nigh knock you silly.

Y’ ought‘ o see her when she‘ s dressed

All up in her Sunday best,

All the fellers nudgin’ me,

An’ a-whisperin’, gemunee!

Betcher life‘ at I feel proud

When she passes by the crowd.

‘ T‘ s kinder nice to be a-goin’

With a girl‘ at makes some showin’ —

One you know‘ at hai n't no snide,

Makes you feel so satisfied.

An’ I‘ ll tell you she‘ s a trump,

Never even seen her jump

Like some silly girls‘ ud do,

When I‘ d hide and holler “Boo!”

She‘ d jest laff an’ say “Git out!

What you hollerin’ about?”

When some girls‘ ud have a fit

That‘ un do n't git skeered a bit,

Never makes a bit o’ row

When she sees a worm er cow.

Them kind‘ s few an’ far between;

Bravest girl I ever seen.

Tell you‘ nuther thing she‘ ll do,

Mebbe you wo n't think it‘ s true,

But if she‘ s jest got a dime

She‘ ll go halvers ever’ time.

Ah, you goose, you need n't laff;

That's the kinder girl to have.

If you knowed her like I do,

Guess you‘ d kinder like her too.

Tell you somep'n’ if you‘ ll swear

You wo n't tell it anywhere.

Oh, you got to cross yer heart

Earnest, truly,‘ fore I start.

Well, one day I kissed her cheek;

Gee, but I felt cheap an’ weak,

‘ Cause at first she kinder flared,

‘ N’, gracious goodness! I was scared.

But I need n't been, fer la!

Why, she never told her ma.

That's what I call grit, do n't you?

Sich a girl's worth stickin’ to.