A LEGEND OF ST. VALENTINE.

Come! Why, halloa, that you, Jack?

How's the world been using you?

Want your pipe? it's in the jar —

Think I might be looking blue.

Maud's been breaking off with me,

Fact — see here — I've got the ring.

That's the note she sent it in;

Read it — soothing sort of thing.

Jack, you know I write sometimes —

Must have read some things of mine.

Well, I thought I'd just send Maud

Something for a valentine.

So I ground some verses out

In the softest kind of style,

Full of love, and that, you know —

Bothered me an awful while;

Quite a heavy piece of work.

So when I had got them done —

Why, I thought them much too good

Just to waste that way on one.

Jack, I told you, did n't I,

All about that black-eyed girl

Up in Stratford — last July —

Oh! you know; you saw her curl?

Well, old fellow, she's the one

That this row is all about,

For I sent her — who'd have thought

Maud would ever find it out —

Those same verses, word for word —

Hang it, man! you need n't roar —

“Splendid joke!” well, so I thought —

No, do n't think so any more.

Yesterday, you know it rained,

I'd been up late — at a ball —

Did n't know what else to do —

Went up and made Maud a call,

Found some other girl there, too,

They were playing a duet.

“Fred, my cousin, Nelly Deane,” —

Yes, Jack, there was my brunette;

You should just have seen me, Jack —

Now, old fellow, please do n't laugh,

I feel bad about it — fact —

And I really can n't stand chaff.

Well, I tried to talk to Maud,

There was Nell, though, sitting by;

Every now and then she'd laugh,

Sure I can n't imagine why.

Maud would read that beastly poem,

Nell's eyes said in just one glance,

“Wont I make you pay for this,

If I ever get the chance!”

Some one came and rang the bell,

Just a note for Nell, by post.

Jack, I saw my monogram —

I'd have rather seen a ghost.

Yes — her verses — I suppose

That her folks had sent them down —

Could n't get up there, you know —

Till she'd left and come to town.

Nelly looked them quickly through —

Laughed — by Jove, I thought she'd choke.

“Maud — he'll kill me — dear! oh, dear!—

Read that; is n't it a joke?”

Maud glanced through them — sank right down

On the sofa — hid her face —

“Crying!” — not much — laughing, Jack —

Do n't think she's a hopeless case.

I just grabbed my hat and left —

Only wish I'd gone before.

How they laughed!— I heard them, Jack —

Till I got outside the door.

There, confession's done me good,

I can never win her back,

So I'll calmly let her slide —

Pass the ash-cup, will you, Jack.