A Man Who Would Woo a Fair Maid

A man who would woo a fair maid,

Should 'prentice himself to the trade;

And study all day,

In methodical way,

How to flatter, cajole, and persuade.

He should 'prentice himself at fourteen

And practise from morning to e'en;

And when he's of age,

If he will, I'll engage,

He may capture the heart of a queen!

It is purely a matter of skill,

Which all may attain if they will:

But every Jack

He must study the knack

If he wants to make sure of his Jill!

If he's made the best use of his time,

His twig he'll so carefully lime

That every bird

Will come down at his word.

Whatever its plumage and clime.

He must learn that the thrill of a touch

May mean little, or nothing, or much;

It's an instrument rare,

To be handled with care,

And ought to be treated as such.

It is purely a matter of skill,

Which all may attain if they will:

But every Jack,

He must study the knack

If he wants to make sure of his Jill!

Then a glance may be timid or free;

It will vary in mighty degree,

From an impudent stare

To a look of despair

That no maid without pity can see.

And a glance of despair is no guide -

It may have its ridiculous side;

It may draw you a tear

Or a box on the ear;

You can never be sure till you've tried.

It is purely a matter of skill,

Which all may attain if they will:

But every Jack

He must study the knack

If he wants to make sure of his Jill!