A VISIT FROM YOUNG GLOOM

By Ring Lardner

There's been a young stranger at our house,

A baby whom nobody knew;

Who hated his brother, his father, his mother,

And made them aware of it, too.

He stayed with us nearly a fortnight

And carried a grouch all the while,

Nor promise nor present could make him look pleasant;

He had n't the power to smile.

He cried when he could n't have something;

He cried just as hard when he could;

Kind words by the earful but made him more tearful,

And scoldings did just as much good.

He stormed when his meals were n't ready,

And when they were ready, he screamed.

He went to bed growling, got up again howling

And quarreled and snarled as he dreamed.

He's gone, and the child we are fond of

Is back, just as nice as of old.

But I hope to be in some port European

The next time he has a bad cold.