CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS

When Christopher Columbus stood the egg upon its end,

He solved a weighty problem that no one could comprehend —

Perhaps it was the puzzle whose solution clearly showed

The psychologic motives of the hen that crossed the road.

Perhaps cold storage minstrels never might have heard of this

If it had n't been for Chris.

Columbus packed his little grip and got upon the train

And went to see that noble man, King Ferdinand of Spain.

Result: He found America — oh, do not idly nod,

For if it had n't been for this we could n't go abroad!

Just think of all the travel and the voyages we'd miss

If it had n't been for Chris.

Columbus found America and won a lot of fame —

Nobody ever thought to ask him how he knew its name;

Nobody ever booked him for some lectures to declare

In eloquent assertions how he knew the land was there.

Today we might be savages, unknowing modern bliss,

If it had n't been for Chris.

He landed near Havana, and he said: “It seems to me

That sometime in the future little Cuby shall be free.”

His vision was prophetic — far adown the future's track

He saw the dauntless Hobson and the sinking Merrimac.

We might have still been tyros in the ethics of the kiss

If it had n't been for Chris.

Today there are big cities and big buildings named for him,

And yet he was so poor that once he thought he'd have to swim

To find this wondrous country, for he was so badly broke;

But Isabella nobly put her watch and ring in soak.

Who knows but Isabella never might have thought of this

If it had n't been for Chris?