CRICKET AND BASEBALL

The cricket game was over and the sun was sinking low,

The players in their blazers plodded homeward in a row.

They stopped within the clubhouse for a final cup of tea,

When up spake Captain Edgerton to Bowler Basil Fee:

“Jolly well tried, old chap!

You lost as the greatest can;

But whether you win or whether you lose

You're always a gentleman.

Have a Scotch and soda, old fellow —

It will drive off the blooming blues;

Keep up your stride, you jolly well tried,

And a man can n't always lose.”

The baseball game was over and the home team had been skinned,

The players slunk across the field while sundry knockers grinned;

They hurried to the clubhouse for a bath and change of garb,

When up spake Manager McDuff, and each word was a barb:

“Fine lot of high-priced athletes!

Most of you ai n't alive!

I could pick a team from the Soldiers’ Home

And beat you four out of five.

Be out here at ten to-morrow —

That goes the way that it lays;

Any mixed-ale sport that does n't report

Will squat on the bench ten days!”