Dr. Johnson's Picture Cow

Got a sliver in my hand

An’ it hurt t’ beat the band,

An’ got white around it, too;

Then the first thing that I knew

It was all swelled up, an’ Pa

Said: “There's no use fussin’, Ma,

Jes’ put on his coat an’ hat;

Doctor Johnson must see that.”

I was scared an’ yelled, because

One time when the doctor was

At our house he made me smell

Something funny, an’ I fell

Fast asleep, an’ when I woke

Seemed like I was goin’ t’ choke;

An’ the folks who stood about

Said I'd had my tonsils out.

An’ my throat felt awful sore

An’ I could n't eat no more,

An’ it hurt me when I'd talk,

An’ they would n't let me walk.

So when Pa said I must go

To the doctor's, I said: “No,

I do n't want to go to-night,

‘ Cause my hand will be all right.”

Pa said: “Take him, Ma,” an’ so

I jes’ knew I had t’ go.

An’ the doctor looked an’ said:

“It is very sore an’ red —

Much too sore to touch at all.

See that picture on the wall,

That one over yonder, Bud,

With the old cow in the mud?

“Once I owned a cow like that,

Jes’ as brown an’ big an’ fat,

An’ one day I pulled her tail

An’ she kicked an’ knocked the pail

Full o’ milk clean over me.”

Then I looked up there t’ see

His old cow above the couch,

An’ right then I hollered “ouch.”

“Bud,” says he, “what's wrong with you;

Did the old cow kick you, too?”

An’ he laughed, an’ Ma said: “Son,

Never mind, now, it's all done.”

Pretty soon we came away

An’ my hand's all well to-day.

But that's first time that I knew

Picture cows could kick at you.