EGREGIOUS EASTBOURNE

Never more shall I and Ponto

Traverse the Marine Parade,

Pass the Pier and wander onto

Eastbourne's Esplanade;

Never more, with lungs like leather,

And a heart as light as feather,

Shall we stray and play together

Where we strayed and played!

On the cruel Council's shingle

Man and beast no more may mingle!

With what never-ending rapture

Ponto would retrieve a stone,

Leap into the sea and capture

Sticks, wherever thrown;

Issue dripping from the ocean,

With his tail in constant motion,

And express his true devotion

In a strident tone,

Till the Judge, his license marking,

Fined him forty bob for barking!

Still, upon the sands, sopranos

Topmost notes in anguish reach,

Masked musicians thump pianos,

Negro minstrels screech;

German bandsmen blare and bellow,

But my Ponto, poor old fellow,

May not raise his loud but mellow

Bark upon the beach!

‘ Dumb,’ indeed, is every beast born

In the neighbourhood of Eastbourne!