Golf Luck

As a golfer I'm not one who cops the money;

I shall always be a member of the dubs;

There are times my style is positively funny;

I am awkward in my handling of the clubs.

I am not a skillful golfer, nor a plucky,

But this about myself I proudly say —

When I win a hole by freaky stroke or lucky,

I never claim I played the shot that way.

There are times, despite my blundering behavior,

When fortune seems to follow at my heels;

Now and then I play supremely in her favor,

And she lets me pull the rankest sort of steals;

She'll give to me the friendliest assistance,

I'll jump a ditch at times when I should not,

I'll top the ball and get a lot of distance —

But I do n't claim that's how I played the shot.

I've hooked a ball when just that hook I needed,

And wondered how I ever turned the trick;

I've thanked my luck for what a friendly tree did,

Although my fortune made my rival sick;

Sometimes my shots turn out just as I planned‘ em,

The sort of shots I usually play,

But when up to the cup I chance to land‘ em,

I never claim I played‘ em just that way.

There's little in my game that will commend me;

I'm not a shark who shoots the course in par;

I need good fortune often to befriend me;

I have my faults and know just what they are.

I play golf in a desperate do-or-die way,

And into traps and trouble oft I stray,

But when by chance the breaks are coming my way,

I do not claim I played the shots that way.