GOOD-BY BILL
By Ring Lardner
Dollar Bill, that I've held so tight
Ever since payday, a week ago,
Shall I purchase with you tonight
A pair of seats at the vaudeville show?
( Hark! A voice from the easy chair:
“Look at his shoes! We must buy a pair.” )
Dollar Bill, from the wreckage saved,
Tell me, how shall I squander you?
Shall I be shined, shampooed and shaved,
Singed and trimmed‘ round the edges, too?
( Hark! A voice from the easy chair:
“He has n't a romper that's fit to wear.” )
Dollar Bill, that I cherished so,
Think of the cigarettes you'd buy,
Turkish ones, with a kick, you know;
Makin's eventually tire a guy.
( Hark! A voice from the easy chair:
“Look at those stockings! Just one big tear!” )
Dollar Bill, it is time to part.
What do I care for a vaudeville show?
I'll shave myself and look just as smart.
Makin's are n't so bad, you know.
Dollar Bill, we must say good-by;
There on the floor is the Reason Why.