HAY FEVER

By Christopher Morley

If you can face a ragweed without sneezing

And walk undaunted past a stack of hay;

If you can find a field of daisies pleasing,

And not require ten handkerchiefs a day;

If you can stroll in meadowland and orchard

And greet the goldenrod with gay surprise,

And not be most abominably tortured

By swollen nose and bloodshot, flaming eyes;

If you can go on sneezing like a geyser

And never utter one unmeasured curse;

If you can squeeze the useless atomiser

Nor look with envy on each passing hearse;

If you can still be merry in September,

And not lay plans to drown yourself in drink,

Then your career is something to remember,

And you deserve an Iron Cross, I think!