I wanted it to be you

I wanted it to be you.

I wanted it to be you so bad that I would’ve changed the whole world just to make it true.

I wanted it to be you so bad that I would’ve changed me—

every piece, every edge, every truth—just for the chance.

I wanted it to be you so bad that I looked past

every moment you made me feel small,

every time I had to pretend it didn’t hurt,

because I still hoped it could be you.

I wanted it to be you because sometimes, we laughed.

Sometimes, it felt like you saw my soul.

Sometimes, I swore you loved me in a way no one else ever could.

I wanted it to be you so bad that I lost myself.

I stopped my own life just to hold yours together.

But then I learned—

it didn’t matter how much I wanted it to be you.

Because the you I wanted only existed in my mind.

And the girl you knew?

She never really existed at all.

She was just the version of me

who kept changing herself

so it could be you.

But what hurt more than losing who I was

was realizing…

you never wanted it to be you at all