In Despair

He has lost him completely. 

    And now he is seekingon the lips of     every new loverthe lips of his beloved;     in the embraceof every new lover     he seeks to be deludedthat he is the same lad,     that it it to him he is yielding.He has lost him completely,     as if he had never been at all.For he wanted — so he said —     he wanted to be savedfrom the stigmatized,     the sick sensual delight;from the stigmatized,     sensual delight of shame.There was still time —     as he said — to be saved.He has lost him completely,     as if he had never been at all.In his imagination,     in his delusions,on the lips of others     it is his lips he is seeking;he is longing to feel again     the love he has known.