"LIKE I'VE LOVED YOU"

I’ve decided to keep my old vow

that I shall never love

anyone like I’ve loved you.

No, please don’t say ‘wow’.

I don’t mean it as a compliment.

There’s still a lot about me, oblivious to you.

For starters,

I’ll always be more critical.

I’ll silently second guess

instead of blindly following my heart,

while abandoning my head behind.

As I watch what he does

Instead of just listening to what he says,

I’ll calculate and compare

before I decide to let him in and stay

and consider him okay.

I don’t want to love him

like I’ve ever loved you.

Innocent, too trusting,

too patiently waiting,

hanging on to your every word

like a daydreamer enchanted

by a favourite poet of hers,

a hopeless romantic,

before reality turned her heart

like the glacier in the Antarctic.

I won’t say those three sacred words

if he won’t say them first.

Well, even if he does,

his actions must speak louder,

based on the sound advice from my late father.

Anyone can profess their love for you,

like actors in Hollywood,

or musicians to complete their tunes.

It’s just for show, not really true.

So, I’ll never love anyone anymore

as I’ve loved you.

You are beyond compare.

I know it’s unfair.

We were different back then.

Like seasons, we’ve also changed.

No worries, you can be off the hook.

I must be fully responsible for my own feelings.

I have to be independent.

Never again will I love anyone like I’ve loved you,

because I’ll be damned if I do!

R.