Male Fashions for 1799

Crops like hedgehogs, high-crown'd hats,

        Whispers like Jew MOSES ;

    Padded collars, thick cravats,

        And cheeks as red as roses.

    Faces painted pink and brown ;

        Waistcoats strip'd and gaudy ;

    Sleeves thrice doubled thick with down,

        And straps to brace the body.

   Short great-coats that reach the knees,

      Boots like French postillion ;

  Worn the G——- race to please,

      But laugh'd at by the million.

  Square-toed shoes, with silken strings,

      Pantaloons not fitting ;

  Finger deck'd with wedding rings,

      And small-clothes made of knitting.

  Curricles so low, that they

      Along the ground seem dragging ;

  Hacks that weary half the day

      In Rotten-row are fagging.

  Bull-dogs grim, and boxers bold,

      In noble trains attending ;

  Science which is bought with gold,

      And flatt'rers vice commending.

  Hair-cords, and plain rings, to shew

      Many a LADY's favour,

  BOUGHT by ev'ry vaunting beau,

      With mischievous endeavour.

  Such is giddy FASHION's son !

      Such a MODERN LOVER!

  Oh ! wou'd their reign had ne'er begun !

      And may it soon BE OVER!