Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Wishes and her Sufferings.

‘ If wishes were horses’ — I've heard when a girl —

‘ If wishes were horses, the beggars would ride’ —

If wishes were pheasants, I'd wish with a skirl

Till cooked ones came flying and sat by my side.

A fig, then, for doctors, their tinctures and drugs;

Good eating would cure me, with plenty of game;

And as for pill boxes, and bottles, and jugs,

I would n't know one, when I saw it, by name.

Oh, dear! such a load now my stomach oppresses,

While eating these trifles, attempting to dine —

I'm sure‘ taint the turkey — it must be my dresses —

And if so‘ t will ease them to sip sherry wine.

‘ Tis sad, though, to be such a sad invalid —

Dear me, Colonel Dinewell, you've done eating meat —

Your doctor, like mine, I hope has n't forbid,

That you should n't have, as I do, so little to eat.

Ah! well then, I see, though I've hardly begun,

The meats and the solids must go right away;

So bring in the pudding, if Susan's got one,

Which will for a while one's appetite stay.