MY JOLLY FRIEND'S SECRET

Ah, friend of mine, how goes it

Since you've taken you a mate?—

Your smile, though, plainly shows it

Is a very happy state!

Dan Cupid's necromancy!

You must sit you down and dine,

And lubricate your fancy

With a glass or two of wine.

And as you have “deserted,”

As my other chums have done,

While I laugh alone diverted,

As you drop off one by one — -

And I've remained unwedded,

Till — you see — look here — that I'm,

In a manner, “snatched bald-headed”

By the sportive hand of Time!

I'm an “old‘ un!” yes, but wrinkles

Are not so plenty, quite,

As to cover up the twinkles

Of the boy — ai n't I right?

Yet there are ghosts of kisses

Under this mustache of mine

My mem'ry only misses

When I drown‘ em out with wine.

From acknowledgment so ample,

You would hardly take me for

What I am — a perfect sample

Of a “jolly bachelor”;

Not a bachelor has being

When he laughs at married life

But his heart and soul's agreeing

That he ought to have a wife!

Ah, ha! old chum, this claret,

Like Fatima, holds the key

Of the old Blue-Beardish garret

Of my hidden mystery!

Did you say you'd like to listen?

Ah, my boy! the “Sad No More!”

And the tear-drops that will glisten —

Turn the catch upon the door,

And sit you down beside me

And put yourself at ease —

I'll trouble you to slide me

That wine decanter, please;

The path is kind o’ mazy

Where my fancies have to go,

And my heart gets sort o’ lazy

On the journey — do n't you know?

Let me see — when I was twenty —

It's a lordly age, my boy,

When a fellow's money's plenty,

And the leisure to enjoy —

And a girl — with hair as golden

As — that; and lips — well — quite

As red as this I'm holdin’

Between you and the light?

And eyes and a complexion —

Ah, heavens!— le’ - me-see —

Well,— just in this connection,—

Did you lock that door for me?

Did I start in recitation

My past life to recall?

Well, that's an indication

I am purty tight — that's all!