MY PIPE

By Christopher Morley

My pipe is old

And caked with soot;

My wife remarks:

“How can you put

That horrid relic,

So unclean,

Inside your mouth?

The nicotine

Is strong enough

To stupefy

A Swedish plumber.”

I reply:

“This is the kind

Of pipe I like:

I fill it full

Of Happy Strike,

Or Barking Cat

Or Cabman's Puff,

Or Brooklyn Bridge

( That potent stuff )

Or Chaste Embraces,

Knacker's Twist,

Old Honeycomb

Or Niggerfist.