“MYLO JONES'S WIFE”

“Mylo Jones's wife” was all

I heerd, mighty near, last Fall —

Visitun relations down

T'other side of Morgantown!

Mylo Jones's wife she does

This and that, and “those” and “thus”!—

Ca n't‘ bide babies in her sight —

Ner no childern, day and night,

Whoopin’ round the premises —

Ner no nothin’ else, I guess!

Mylo Jones's wife she‘ lows

She's the boss of her own house!—

Mylo — consequences is —

Stays whare things seem some like his,—

Uses, mostly, with the stock —

Coaxin’ “Old Kate” not to balk,

Ner kick hoss-flies’ branes out, ner

Act, I s'pose, so much like her!

Yit the wimmern-folks tells you

She's perfection.— Yes they do!

Mylo's wife she says she's found

Home hai n't home with men-folks round

When they's work like hern to do —

Picklin’ pears and butchern, too,

And a-rendern lard, and then

Cookin’ fer a pack of men

To come trackin’ up the flore

She's scrubbed tel she'll scrub no more!—

Yit she'd keep things clean ef they

Made her scrub tel Jedgmunt Day!

Mylo Jones's wife she sews

Carpet-rags and patches clothes

Jest year in and out!— and yit

Whare's the livin’ use of it?

She asts Mylo that.— And he

Gits back whare he'd ruther be,

With his team;— jest plows — and do n't

Never sware — like some folks wo n't!

Think ef he'd cut loose, I gum!

‘ D he'p his heavenly chances some!

Mylo's wife do n't see no use,

Ner no reason ner excuse

Fer his pore relations to

Hang round like they allus do!

Thare‘ bout onc't a year — and she —

She jest ga'nts‘ em, folks tells me,

On spiced pears!— Pass Mylo one,

He says “No, he do n't chuse none!”

Workin’ men like Mylo they

‘ D ort to have meat ev'ry day!

Dad-burn Mylo Jones's wife!

Ruther rake a blame caseknife

‘ Crost my wizzen than to see

Sich a womern rulin’ me!—

Ruther take and turn in and

Raise a fool mule-colt by hand!

Mylo, though — od-rot the man!—

Jest keeps ca'm — like some folks can —

And‘ lows sich as her, I s'pose,

Is Man's he'pmeet!— Mercy knows!