ON AN OLD MUFF

Time has a magic wand!

What is this meets my hand,

Moth-eaten, mouldy, and

Covered with fluff?

Faded, and stiff, and scant;

Can it be? no, it can n't —

Yes,— I declare‘ tis Aunt

Prudence's Muff!

Years ago — twenty-three!

Old Uncle Barnaby

Gave it to Aunty P.—

Laughing and teasing —

“Pru., of the breezy curls,

Whisper these solemn churls,

What holds a pretty girl's

Hand without squeezing?”

Uncle was then a lad

Gay, but, I grieve to add,

Sinful: if smoking bad

Baccy's a vice:

Glossy was then this mink

Muff, lined with pretty pink

Satin, which maidens think

“Awfully nice!”

I see, in retrospect,

Aunt, in her best bedecked,

Gliding, with mien erect,

Gravely to Meeting:

Psalm-book, and kerchief new,

Peeped from the muff of Pru.—

Young men — and pious too —

Giving her greeting.

Pure was the life she led

Then — from this Muff,‘ tis said,

Tracts she distributed:—

Scapegraces many,

Seeing the grace they lacked,

Followed her — one, in fact,

Asked for — and got his tract

Oftener than any.

Love has a potent spell!

Soon this bold Ne'er-do-well,

Aunt's sweet susceptible

Heart undermining,

Slipped, so the scandal runs,

Notes in the pretty nun's

Muff — triple-cornered ones —

Pink as its lining!

Worse even, soon the jade

Fled ( to oblige her blade! )

Whilst her friends thought that they'd

Locked her up tightly:

After such shocking games

Aunt is of wedded dames

Gayest — and now her name's

Mrs. Golightly.

In female conduct flaw

Sadder I never saw,

Still I've faith in the law

Of compensation.

Once Uncle went astray —

Smoked, joked, and swore away —

Sworn by, he's now, by a

Large congregation!

Changed is the Child of Sin,

Now he's ( he once was thin )

Grave, with a double chin,—

Blest be his fat form!

Changed is the garb he wore,—

Preacher was never more

Prized than is Uncle for

Pulpit or platform.

If all's as best befits

Mortals of slender wits,

Then beg this Muff, and its

Fair Owner pardon:

All's for the best,— indeed

Such is my simple creed —

Still I must go and weed

Hard in my garden.