On Don Surly

Don Surly, to aspire the glorious name

 Of a great man, and to be thought the same,

Makes serious use of all great trade he know.

 He speaks to men with a Rhinocerotes' nose,

Which he thinks great; and so reads verses too,

 And that is done as he saw great men do.

He has timpanies of business in his face,

 And can forget men's names with a great grace.

He will both argue and discourse in oaths,

 Both which are great; and laugh at ill-made clothes—

That's greater yet—to cry his own up neat.

 He doth, at meals, alone his pheasant eat,

Which is main greatness; and at his still board

 He drinks to no man; that's, too, like a lord.

He keeps another's wife, which is a spice

 Of solemn greatness. And he dares, at dice,

Blaspheme God greatly, or some poor hind beat

 That breathes in his dog's way; and this is great.

Nay more, for greatness' sake, he will be one

 May hear my epigrams, but like of none,

Surly, use other arts; these only can

 Style thee a most great fool, but no great man.

Contextual notes: L1 - 'Don Surly' - Don Surly was not a specific person. Johnson was talking rather of surly people in general. The Spanish title 'Don' was added because it was thought, at the time, that Spaniards were pompous and uppityL3 - 'trade' - tricksL4 - with a Rhinocerotes' nose' - with and upturned noseL7 - 'timpanies' - sweelings, tumors; a figure for prideL13 - 'still board' - his solitary dinner tableL14 - 'spice' - speciesL17 - 'hind' - rustic