ONE-ARMED JOE

Ricollect ol’ One-Armed Joe?

Lost it grindin’ cane.

Same blame feller‘ t used to go

Round with Lizy Jane

Grindin’ sorghum ever fall.

Lizy Jane wuz Joe's ol’ mare;

Never showed her at a fair,

But blamed‘ f she could n't beat all

Ringsters to an ol’ cane sweep

That ever stepped a mile. Never fat,

Ring-bone an’ bob-tail an’ all that,

But law! she made the cane-mill weep!

An’ us chillern, we'd allus go

Over where they's grindin’ cane

An’ git to ride ol’ Lizy Jane,

An’ hear the jokes of One-Armed Joe;

An’ maybe git the sorghum skimmin's,

Thwuzzent allus so many wimmins

Bossin’ round, cause One-Armed Joe,

He loved us chillern bettern them.

( Bet he wears a diadem

In the world where preachers go ).

Joe had grit and feelin's, too,

An’ they wuzzent nothin’ he could n't do,

‘ Cept to do another harm:

Ketch a possum, kill a bear,

Cuss an’ dance, or lead in prayer;

Jump a rope, or skin a cat,

Make a speech or guess a riddle,

Sing a song, or play the fiddle —

No, Joe could n't quite do that,

Cause One-Armed Joe had lost an arm,

But that's all he could n't do.

One night dogs treed a coon

Up a leanin’ poplar tree;

Joe could by the glimmerin’ moon

See the leanin’ poplar leant:

Jerked his coat and up he went;

Ketched the possum, let him go,

Slipped his holts and hollered, “Oh!”

An’ down into eternity

Limp and warm, fell poor old Joe!

Do n't remember One-Armed Joe?

Feller I'll bet the angels know!