Safety-Clutch

Once I seen a human ruin

    In a elevator-well.

  And his members was bestrewin'

    All the place where he had fell.

  And I says, apostrophisin'

    That uncommon woful wreck:

  "Your position's so surprisin'

    That I tremble for your neck!"

  Then that ruin, smilin' sadly

   And impressive, up and spoke:

 "Well, I wouldn't tremble badly,

   For it's been a fortnight broke."

 Then, for further comprehension

   Of his attitude, he begs

 I will focus my attention

   On his various arms and legs—

 How they all are contumacious;

   Where they each, respective, lie;

 How one trotter proves ungracious,

   T' other one an alibi.

 These particulars is mentioned

   For to show his dismal state,

 Which I wasn't first intentioned

   To specifical relate.

 None is worser to be dreaded

   That I ever have heard tell

 Than the gent's who there was spreaded

   In that elevator-well.

 Now this tale is allegoric—

   It is figurative all,

 For the well is metaphoric

   And the feller didn't fall.

 I opine it isn't moral

   For a writer-man to cheat,

 And despise to wear a laurel

   As was gotten by deceit.

 For 'tis Politics intended

   By the elevator, mind,

 It will boost a person splendid

   If his talent is the kind.

 Col. Bryan had the talent

   (For the busted man is him)

 And it shot him up right gallant

   Till his head began to swim.

 Then the rope it broke above him

   And he painful came to earth

 Where there's nobody to love him

   For his detrimented worth.

 Though he's living' none would know him,

   Or at leastwise not as such.

 Moral of this woful poem:

   Frequent oil your safety-clutch.Porfer Poog.

Composition date is unknown - the above date represents the first publication date.

The lyrical form of this poem is abab.

41.Col. Bryan: William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925),

US politician and lawyer?

Safety-Clutch, n. A mechanical device acting automatically to prevent the fall of an elevator, or cage, in case of an accident to the hoisting apparatus.