SAID I TO MYSELF, SAID I.

When I went to the Bar as a very young man,

( Said I to myself — said I ),

I'll work on a new and original plan

( Said I to myself — said I ),

I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief

Is a gentleman worthy implicit belief,

Because his attorney has sent me a brief

( Said I to myself — said I! ).

I'll never throw dust in a juryman's eyes

( Said I to myself — said I ),

Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise

( Said I to myself — said I ),

Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force

In Exchequer, Queen's Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce,

Have perjured themselves as a matter of course

( Said I to myself — said I ).

Ere I go into court I will read my brief through

( Said I to myself — said I ),

And I'll never take work I'm unable to do

( Said I to myself — said I ).

My learned profession I'll never disgrace

By taking a fee with a grin on my face,

When I have n't been there to attend to the case

( Said I to myself — said I! ).

In other professions in which men engage

( Said I to myself — said I ),

The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage

( Said I to myself — said I ),

Professional license, if carried too far,

Your chance of promotion will certainly mar

And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar

( Said I to myself — said I! ).