Somewhere

Somewhere in a distant star,

Cities of Cocaigne there are,

Paradises of the Bar.

Somewhere‘ neath another sun

Counsel cease to see the fun

Lurking in a judge's pun.

Somewhere courts are fair to see,

Beauty joins utility,

Ushers answer courteously.

Somewhere there are bailiwicks

Which for dock defences fix

Nothing under three-five-six.

Somewhere rises struggle sore

For revisorships no more,

Every shire has half a score.

Somewhere educated thought

Scientifically taught

Cross-examines as it ought.

Somewhere judgments are obeyed,

Executions are not stayed,

Fees are almost always paid.

Somewhere County Councils press

Banquets on the circuit mess,

Fleshpots in the wilderness.

Somewhere at Assizes grow

Prosecutions row on row,

Every man has six or so.

Somewhere, eager but for right,

Court and counsel cease to cite

Pointless cases recondite.

Somewhere headnotes give the ground

Whereupon the judges found

Judgments generally sound.

Somewhere juries use their sense,

Basing on the evidence

Verdicts of intelligence.

Somewhere rich embroideries

Woven cunningly of lies

Part in twain at truth's clear eyes.

Somewhere justice grows from wrong,

Till the right that suffered long

Sings at last its triumph song.

Somewhere — even in a place

Peopled by a perfect race —

One side holds a losing case.

Somewhere since the world began

Heaven hath made an honest man,

Somewhere in Aldebaran.