STAGE SUPPORT

When I stand as‘ Independent’ next election,

I shall vanquish my opponents, Smith and Brown.

( Smith's a Unionist, in favour of Protection,

Brown's a Radical Free Trader of renown. )

But my triumph at the polls I shall attribute, I confess,

To the men of light and leading whose assistance spelt success.

Smith may marshal Austen Chamberlains and Carsons

On his platform, for the populace to view;

Brown may muster all his Nonconformist parsons,

And a member of the Cabinet or two;

I shall need no brilliant orators, no Ministers of State,

If I only can rely on the support of Harry Tate!

Brown has posters:‘ Vote for Brown and Old Age Pensions!’

Smith has placards:‘ Vote for Smith and Work for All!’

I shall calmly call constituents’ attentions

To the pet of ev'ry London music hall,

When I publish, as his message, on each flaming window-card:

‘ Every Vote you give to Johnson is a vote for Wilkie Bard!’

Can you wonder, then, that Independents rally

Round a candidate to whom the Fates allot

That his meetings shall be graced by Cinquevalli,

And his policy endorsed by Malcolm Scott?

Or that ev'ry one should mention — proud and humble, poor and rich —

That a vote for Mr. Johnson is a vote for Little Tich?