THE BACHELORS’

While clerks lunch at Lockhart's or Lyons’,

And labourers meet at some‘ pub,’

Society's celibate scions

Resort to the Bachelors’ Club;

For here all the members elected

Belong to a very smart set,

And bask in the sunshine reflected

From Mr. Gillett.

Here youths of the Governing Classes

At regular intervals call,

To tap barometrical glasses

Or study the tape in the Hall;

Discussing the‘ latest from Lincoln,’

Comparing the odds of each bet,

Or reading out jokes from the‘ Pink‘ Un’

To Mr. Gillett.

And though they severely disparage

Those trammels that Benedicks bind,

And members who contemplate marriage

Are spoken to sharply and fined;

‘ The Sex’ they regard as no sinners,

And ladies may often be met,

Partaking of luncheons or dinners

With Mr. Gillett.

Here, too, for young persons of leisure

Who wish to develop the mind,

Instruction is tempered with pleasure,

Tuition with fun is combined;

New knowledge they gain ( one conjectures )

And cerebral stimulus get,

Attending the Radium Lectures

Of Mr. Gillett.

Then ho! for this celibate centre

For youths who are loth to espouse,

Though fish-knives ( the gift of their mentor )

May tempt them to cancel their vows!

And ho! for that guide and dictator!

Their whistles let bachelors wet

( A whisky and soda, please, waiter! )

To Mr. Gillett!