THE CUCKOO CLOCK

When Ezry, that's my sister's son, come home from furrin parts,

He fetched the folks a lot of things ter brighten up their hearts;

He fetched‘ em silks and gloves and clothes, and knick-knacks, too, a stock,

But all he fetched fer us was jest a fancy cuckoo clock.

‘ T was all fixed up with paint and gilt, and had a little door

Where sat the cutest little bird, and when‘ t was three or four

Or five or six or any time, that bird would jest come out

And,‘ cordin’ ter what time it was, he'd flap his wings and shout:

“Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!”

Well, fust along we had it, why, I thought‘ twas simply prime!

And used to poke the hands around ter make it “cuckoo” time;

And allers when we'd company come, they had ter see the thing,

And, course they almost had a fit when “birdie” come ter sing.

But, by and by, b'gosh! I found it somehow lost its joys,

I found it kind er made me sick to hear that senseless noise;

I wished‘ t was jest a common clock, that struck a gong, yer know,

And did n't have no foolish bird ter flap his wings and go:

“Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!”

Well, things git on from bad to wuss, until I'm free ter grant,

I'd smash it into kindlin’, but a present, so, I can n't!

And, though a member of the church, and deacon, I declare,

That thing jest sets me up on end and makes me want ter swear!

I try ter be religious and ter tread the narrer way,

But seems as if that critter knew when I knelt down ter pray,

And all my thoughts of heaven go a-tumblin’ down ter,— well,

A different kind of climate — when that bird sets out ter yell:

“Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!”

I read once in a poetry book, that Ezry had ter home,

The awful fuss a feller made about a crow, that come

And pestered him about ter death and made him sick and sore,

By settin’ on his mantel-piece and hollerin’ “Nevermore!”

But, say, I'd ruther have the crow, with all his fuss and row,

His bellerin’ had some sense, b'gosh!‘ T was English, anyhow;

And all the crows in Christendom that talked a Christian talk

Would seem like nightingales, compared ter that air furrin squawk:

“Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!”