“THE FIFT’ WARD J'INT DEBATE”

Now Councilman O'Hoolihan do'n' t b'lave in annixation,

He says thim Phillypynos air the r-r-ruin av the nation.

He says this counthry's job is jist a-mindin’ av her biz,

And imparyilism's thrayson, so ut is, so ut is.

But big Moike Macnamara, him that runs the gin saloon,

He wants the nomina-a-tion, so he sings a different chune;

He's a-howlin’ fer ixpansion, so he puts ut on the shlate

Thot he challenged Dan O'Hoolihan ter have a j'int debate.

Ho, ho! Begorra! Oi wisht that ye‘ d been there!

Ho, ho! Begorra!‘ Twas lovely, Oi declare;

The langwudge, sure‘ t was iligant, the rhitoric was great,

Whin Dan and Mack, they had ut back,

At our big j'int debate.

‘ T was in the War-r-d Athletic Club we had ut fixed ter hear‘ em,

And all the sates was crowded, fer the gang was there ter cheer‘ em;

A foine debatin’ platfor-r-m had been built inside the ring,

And iverybuddy said‘ t was jist the thing, jist the thing.

O'Hoolihan, he shtarted off be sayin’, ut was safe

Ter say that aich ixpansionist was jist a murth'rin thafe;

And, whin I saw big Mack turn rid, and shtart ter lave his sate,

Oi knew we‘ d have a gor-r-geous toime at our big j'int debate.

Thin Moike he tuk his tur-r-n ter shpake, “Av Oi wance laid me hand,”

Says he, “upon an‘ Anti,’ faith! Oi'd make his nose ixpand;

Oi‘ d face the schnakin’ blackguar-r-d, and Oi'd baste him where he shtood.

Oi'd annix him to a graveyard, so Oi would, so Oi would!”

Thin up jumped Dan O'Hoolihan a-roar-r-in’ out “Yez loie!”

And flung his b'aver hat at Mack, and plunked him in the eye;

And Moike he niver shtopped ter talk, but grappled wid him straight,

And the ar-r-gymint got loively thin, at our big j'int debate.

Oi niver in me loife have seen sich char-r-min’ illycution,

The gistures av thim wid their fists was grand in ixecution;

We tried to be impar-r-tial, so no favoroite we made,

But jist sicked them on tergither, yis indade, yis indade.

And nayther wan was half convinced whin Sar-r-gint Leary came,

Wid near a dozen other cops, and stopped the purty game;

But niver did Oi see dhress-suits in sich a mortial state

As thim the or-r-ators had on at our big j'int debate.

Ho, ho! Begorra! Oi wisht that ye'd been there!

Ho, ho! Begorra! The foight was on the square;

Ter see the wagon goin’ off, wid thim two on the sate!—

Oi‘ d loike ter shtroike,‘ twixt Dan and Moilce,

Another j'int debate.