THE NEIGHBORS

For years and years I practiced —

Tum-tum, tum-tum, tee-tum!

Pounding up and down the scale,

White keys, black keys —

They all fell beneath my faithful hammering;

And then — my pretty neighbor across the street

Put in a player-piano that could tear a hole

Through classics that I'd never learned even to dent!

I was mad — hopping mad —

But I got even with her.

( She was studying for the operatic stage. )

I bought a phonograph — cheap —

And some records — not cheap.

They made her gargling voice

Sound like an imitation with a small i.

Then we both laughed — and quit our exercises.

To-day she's a moving picture actress,

Using her big eyes in a financially-effective way,

While I write things in prose or jingle

Or verse that is free-on-bail.

Sometimes I get by with it; and

Sometimes she does n't spoil a film —

Is n't the public lucky that we did n't

Stick to our callings?