THE WAY IT WUZ

Las’ July — and, I persume,

‘ Bout as hot

As the old Gran’ - Jury room

Whare they sot!—

Fight‘ twixt Mike and Dock McGreff....

‘ Pears to me jest like as ef

I'd a-dremp’ the whole blame thing —

Allus ha'nts me roun’ the gizzard

When they's nightmares on the wing

And a feller's blood's jes’ friz!

Seed the row from A to Izzard —

‘ Cause I wuz a-standin’ as clos't to‘ em

As me and you is!

Tell you the way it wuz —

And I do n't want to see,

Like some fellers does,

When they's goern to be

Any kind o’ fuss —

On'y makes a rumpus wuss

Fer to interfere

When theyr dander's riz —

Might as lif to cheer!

But I wuz a-standin’ as clos't to‘ em

As me and you is!

I wuz kindo’ strayin’

Past the blame saloon —

Heerd some fiddler playin’

That old “Hee-cup tune!”

I'd stopped-like, you know,

Fer a minit er so,

And wuz jest about

Settin’ down, when — Jeemses-whizz!—

Whole durn winder-sash fell out!

And thare laid Dock McGreff, and Mike

A-straddlin’ him, all bloody-like,

And both a-gittin’ down to biz!—

And I wuz a-standin’ as clos't to‘ em

As me and you is!

I wuz the on'y man aroun’ —

( Durn old-fogey town!

‘ Peared more like, to me,

Sund'y than Saturd'y! )

Dog come‘ crost the road

And tuk a smell

And putt right back:

Mishler driv by‘ ith a load

O’ cantalo'pes he could n't sell —

Too mad,‘ i jack!

To even ast

What wuz up, as he went past!

Weather most outrageous hot!—

Fairly hear it sizz

Roun’ Dock and Mike — tel Dock he shot,—

And Mike he slacked that grip o’ his

And fell, all spraddled out. Dock riz

‘ Bout half up, a spittin’ red,

And shuck his head....

And I wuz a-standin’ as clos't to‘ em

As me and you is!

And Dock he says,

A-whisperin’ - like,—

“It hai n't no use

A-tryin’!— Mike

He's jest ripped my daylights loose!—

Git that blame-don fiddler to

Let up, and come out here — You

Got some burryin’ to do,—

Mike makes one, and, I expects,

‘ Bout ten seconds, I'll make two!”

And he drapped back, whare he'd riz,

‘ Crost Mike's body, black and blue,

Like a great big letter X!—

And I wuz a-standin’ as clos't to‘ em

As me and you is!