TO MR. DAN LENO

( On his Appearance at Sandringham )

Dear Mr. Dan Leno,—

This has been a great week

For Art —

One of the biggest weeks in fact

On record.

For at the beginning of the week, my dear Mr. Leno,

You were a mere popular entertainer,

Whereas at the present moment

You are a proud and‘ appy man,

And in a position to walk about the Strand

With a diamond E

Scintillating in your cravat.

The thing that was anticipated

By the intelligent paragraphists,

My dear Mr. Leno,

Has come to pass.

His Britannic Majesty

King Edward VII., D. G.: B. et T. T. B. R.: I. I.,

Does intend to give artists and authors and people

A little bit more of a show

Than has hitherto fallen to their lot.

His Majesty,

My dear Mr. Leno,

Has always been noted for his tact,

And in opening the ball with you, as it were,

His Majesty has exhibited an amount of tact

Which leaves absolutely nothing to be desired.

Had he commenced with Mr. Swinburne,

Or myself,

Or Mr. Hall Caine

What howls there would have been!

Whereas as it is

Everybody is delighted,

And the Halls resound nightly with his Majesty's praises.

Furthermore,

Besides being tactful,

The King's choice of you,

My dear Mr. Leno,

For an invitation to Sandringham

Has its basis in a profound common sense;

For I am acquainted with nobody in the movement,

My dear Mr. Leno,

Who could have done the Sandringham turn

With anything like the success which appears to have been yours.

I gather from interviews

That the King “laughed heartily” at your jokes,

And that “it was a treat to see him enjoying himself.”

It is just here that Mr. Swinburne, myself, and Mr. Hall Caine

Would have broken down.

It seems to me unlikely

That the King would have laughed

At Mr. Swinburne's jokes;

My own jokes, as everybody is aware,

Are constructed on a principle

Which entirely prohibits laughter;

While, as for Mr. Hall Caine's jokes,

They have such a tremendous sale

That it is not good form to laugh at them.

Mr. Leno, my boy,

You have been the humble means

Of doing us all

A great kindness.

Those jokes of yours

Which have tickled Royal ears

Will be nectar to me

When next it is my pleasurable duty

To sit under you;

That hand which Royalty has shaken

I shall grasp

With an added fervour;

That smile will cheer me all the more readily

Because it has cheered

My liege Lord and Sovereign;

Those feet ——

But, after all, the great point

Is the scarf pin.

I suppose you would not care to lend it to me

For a week or two

While I have one made

Like it?