To Myself

AFTER all, you are my rather tedious hero;

It is impossible (damn it!) to avoid

Looking at you through keyholes.

But come! At least you might try to be

Even, let us say, a Graceful Zero

Or an Eminent Molecule, gorgeously employed.

Have you not played Hamlet's father in the wings

Long enough, listening to poets groan,

Seeking a false catharsis

In flesh not yours, through doors ajar

In the houses of dead kings,

In the gods' tombs, in the coffins of cracked stone?

Have you not poured yourself, thin fluid mind,

Down the dried-up canals, the powdering creeks,

Whose waters none remember

Either to praise them or condemn,

Whose fabulous cataracts none can find

Save one who has forgotten what he seeks?

Your uncle, the Great Harry, left after him

The memory of a cravat, a taste in cheese,

And a way of saying "I am honoured."

Such things, when men and beasts have gone,

Smell sweetly to the seraphim.

Believe me, fool, there are worse gifts than these.