TOBACCO NEXT

They took away your drink from you,

The kind old humanizing glass;

Soon they will take tobacco too,

And next they'll take our demi-tasse.

Do n't say, “The bill will never pass,”

Nor this my warning word disdain;

You said it once, you silly ass —

Do n't make the same mistake again.

We know them now, the bloodless crew,

We know them all too well, alas!

There's nothing that they would n't do

To make the world a Bible class;

Though against bottled beer or Bass

I search the sacred text in vain

To find a whisper — by the Mass!

Do n't make the same mistake again.

Beware these legislators blue,

Pouring their moral poison-gas

On all the joys our fathers knew;

The very flowers in the grass

Are safe no more, and, lad and lass,

‘ Ware the old birch-rod and the cane!

Here comes our modern Hudibras!—

Do n't make the same mistake again.

Prince, vanished is the rail of brass,

So mark me well and my refrain —

Tobacco next! you silly ass,

Do n't make the same mistake again.