When Ma Wants Something New

Last night Ma said to Pa: “My dear,

The Williamsons are coming here

To visit for a week or two,

An’ I must have a talk with you.

We need some things which we must get —

You promised me a dinner set,

An’ I should like it while they're here.”

An’ Pa looked up an’ said: “My dear,

A dinner set? Well, I guess not.

What's happened to the one we've got?”

“We need a parlor rug,” says Ma.

“We've got a parlor rug,” says Pa.

“We ought to have another chair.”

“You're sittin’ in a good one there.”

“The parlor curtains are a fright.”

“When these are washed they look all right.”

“The old stuff's pitiful to see.”

“It still looks mighty good to me.”

“The sofa's worn beyond repair.”

“It does n't look so bad, I swear.”

“Gee Whiz, you make me tired,” says Ma.

“Why, what's the matter now?” says Pa.

“You come an’ go an’ never see

How old our stuff has grown to be;

It still looks just the same to you

As what it did when it was new,

An’ every time you think it strange

That I should like to have a change.”

“I'm gettin’ old,” says Pa. “Maybe

You'd like a younger man than me.”

“If this old rug was worn an’ thin,

At night you'd still come walkin’ in

An’ throw your hat upon a chair

An’ never see a single tear;

So long as any chair could stand

An’ bear your weight you'd think it grand.

If home depended all on you,

It never would get something new.”

“All right,” says Pa, “go buy the stuff!

But, say, am I still good enough?”