“YAP”

I've got a little yaller dog, a wuthless kind of chap,

Who jest ai n't good fer nothin’ but ter eat and sleep and “yap.”

Fer all‘ round general wuthlessness I never see his beat,

And yet he makes more fuss and noise than all the farm complete.

There ai n't a mite of sense inside that yaller hide of his;

But, as he ai n't no good, he likes ter pester them that is.

The critters all despise him, but there ai n't a one but feels

A little mite oneasy when he's “yappin’” round their heels.

Yer see, he loves ter sneak around behind‘ em, out of sight,

And give a sudden snap and snarl as if he meant ter bite;

Of course they know he would n't hurt, and only means to scare,

But still, it worries‘ em ter know the little scamp is there;

And if they do git nervous-like and try to hit him back

He swells up so with pride it seems as if his skin would crack;

And then he's wuss than ever, so they find it does n't pay,

But let him keep on “yappin’” till he's tired and goes away.

There's lots of people built like him — yer see‘ em everywhere —

Who,‘ cause they ai n't no use themselves, can n't somehow seem ter bear

Ter see another feller rise, but in their petty spite

And natural meanness, snarl and snap and show they'd like ter bite.

They do n't come out in front like men, and squarely speak their mind,

But like that wuthless yaller pup, they're hangin’‘ round behind.

They're little and contemptible, but if yer make a slip

It must be bothersome ter know they'll take that chance ter nip.

But there! perhaps it is n't right ter mind‘ em, after all;

Perhaps we ought ter thank the Lord our souls ai n't quite so small;

And they, with all their sneakin’ ways, must be, I rather guess,

The thorns that prick your fingers‘ round the roses of success:

Fer, when yer come ter think of it, they never bark until

A feller's really started and a good ways up the hill;

So,‘ f I was climbin’ up ter fame I would n't care a rap,

But I'd think I was somebody when the curs begun ter “yap.”