Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
You’ll probably see me
an offbeat character at this party
a plain, simple girl-next-door
wondering what she could possibly offer
What? Who??
(Dark Thoughts of The Bullied)
It's more than a vacant space
or lack of expression on one's face
It doesn't contain nothing,
What is it with people like you?
You treat everything a competition,
all in the name of public acknowledgment.
You flaunt your fortunes,
clearly fishing for compliments.
“How do I catch a monster?”
I’m probably one of the few girls
who asks such a question.
I’ll definitely startle
those who look at me and wonder:
She's been dismissed
belittled
considered a freak and overly sensitive
'though she believes
something's got to give
I try not to experience
your loss and sadness
as everyone moved on,
or away, not staying long.
Too many statements
I wish I had my rose-coloured glasses,
so I could see the colours of your optimism.
You say we can be stronger than our painful wounds.
Maybe it’s true.
Maybe I could play the same role again too.
Have I put myself on exile for too long,
that solitude no longer feels wrong?
Just hollow,
a vacant space without a vibrant soul.
I’m afraid to forget
What you choose to believe
will affect how you perceive.
A picture’s worth a thousand words,
or possibly less or more.
There’s more than meets the eye.
“I heard rage in your sleep,”
The Mighty Queen said.
“My child, what has gone so deep,
stealing the peacefulness in your dreams?”
“I forgot,”
Your level of desperation is
beyond nothing but ridiculous.
It’s not enough with false rumours.
You still aim to bury me in pieces.
I thought high school was over some decades ago,
There’s still that hailstorm in my heart
The ice is solid
a perfect, although temporary patch
to fill the holes in its walls
I’m feeling cold
