Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
The secondhand poem
you once wrote for me
now used to woo another lady
Boy, you’re so lazy!
If she knew the backstory,
she’d be displeased
No, my smile isn’t for you.
You only deserve a smirk,
knowing it’s me you always irk.
You’re that ignorant, aren’t you?
You think I’m being mean
How do I stop caring for you,
after those years of closeness?
How do you go from warm to cold?
Are those elements of indifference you now hold?
How did you do that?
He bares his straight, white teeth for a smile
as he greets me with his shy “Hello”,
while I politely nod as I go.
His dark complexion slightly glistens
under the Jakarta morning sun.
They all say the same cliché:
“It’s better to have loved than none at all.”
Our story had been short and not worth it,
yet I’ve been cursed with this ability;
this giant elephant memory.
No signs of warning.
Everything was fine.
A face smiling,
sincere and kind.
A picture-perfect romance,
I must do what’s right
kicking you out
out of my sight
You were never mine
I was stupid and blind
but now I’m fine
Stay awake
Tons of work that always wait
No time to waste
Not many choices anyway
Ask me not
You demand
to be the centre of your lover’s attention
as if she’s not allowed a life of her own
It’s the double standard
of the one feeling more entitled
Are you afraid of my face?
I am human too,
just like you.
This face represents me.
This is part of my identity.
How to recognise me,
Last night you appeared
right there in my dream
as real as I refused to see
you smirked at me, it seemed
“I haven’t got you yet,”
INTRO:
Welcome to the class of life.
Experience is your teacher.
Here's your lesson:
