Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
Have I put myself on exile for too long,
that solitude no longer feels wrong?
Just hollow,
a vacant space without a vibrant soul.
I’m afraid to forget
“I heard rage in your sleep,”
The Mighty Queen said.
“My child, what has gone so deep,
stealing the peacefulness in your dreams?”
“I forgot,”
I'm denying my natural rights to fall apart
This world always demands a fight
with all my might
I don't always know
the next levels I should go
This stage should not be skipped,
yet many often get past it,
in the name of love from another
in hopes, the one will stick around longer,
if not forever.
Your ignorance is not my bliss
but what do you care, right?
Not so much you miss
yet alone I must fight
I’ve stopped expecting you
No, she’s not just asleep.
She’s not even fainted.
Can’t you tell that she’s already dead?
It takes more than countless tries to shake her awake..
You can’t even make her snap out of it.
Oh, Casanova-wannabe
Who are you, really?
So you still haven’t given up on me
How to make you see?
Stop acting like you’re oh-so-desirable
Oh, you only mean so well
Of course, with the same old lines
Such familiar lies
while saving your own face
is always your best interest
A night when we cross paths
a blast from the past
the way you look at me
full of familiarity
I know you’re still curious
This ain’t no desperation
I’m just contemplating
weighing my options
seriously considering
Yes, we don’t get to choose
Advice?
More of them?
Truth or lies?
Should I give a damn?
I understand
I need to be brave
to show you these feelings I have
For too long I’ve been imprisoned
by my own creation of silence
I’ve been too scared
