Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
You use your bitter past
to ensure their hopes won’t last.
“Be realistic,”
that’s what you always say
making sure your message sticks.
I don’t expect you to see
all the good in me
all that I’d like to be
anything lovely.
I need this
There's no amnesty granted
unless well-paid
Reach deeply into your pockets
until perhaps,
their eyeballs jump out of their sockets
You demand
to be the centre of your lover’s attention
as if she’s not allowed a life of her own
It’s the double standard
of the one feeling more entitled
“Oh, I am so ordinary.”
Is that what you see, right there in the mirror?
Can’t you be something more?
You think you know you.
That’s not what you do.
There’s only one way
to restore your peace of mind completely
Yes, you’ve already let him go
He’s never going to run the same sick show
Start making him
It turns out
a decade and more
are still not enough
to know you as a whole.
I can still see the beauty in your soul,
“Oh, but I respect you.”
While at the same time, you turn us blue
keep us homebound,
while you’re free to roam around.
What humanity?
We’re treated more like properties
Go ahead and ask me
to write you something happy
as I stare at a page so empty
I can write something trivial
mundane, daily activities
She's been dismissed
belittled
considered a freak and overly sensitive
'though she believes
something's got to give
Mommy, I'm scared
We've talked about this before
briefly, but I was still being straight
to the point that worries you more
Mommy, I'm still scared
A house, a family
Material things
Everything’s lovely
All the joy they bring
Will they always represent ‘home’?
