Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
I can write
about all the things
I find alright
I’ll let you think
this is about you
Losing track of time,
does it even exist?
Nothing comes out right,
not...with a lot to miss.
Body on autopilot.
Hey.
It’s the new me.
This time, no mercy.
I’ve had enough, you see?
Brand new armour
Dear Society,
I hate how you make girls like me
feel stupid for believing so easily
everytime some guy shows an interest in me
Get a grip
A house, a family
Material things
Everything’s lovely
All the joy they bring
Will they always represent ‘home’?
You can never stop time
but there’s an illusion of a pause
Turn off the phone
Close all the windows
Lock all your doors
Lie down
I’m enjoying my silence as you fall
I could do the dance and amuse them all
No, I’m staying still
waiting for the news
before going in for the kill
I’m just a number,
not a person,
at least according to them.
If I die as the only one,
then it doesn’t matter.
I’m just a dot in their statistics.
From promises made
to smiles faked
I know what’s broken
from your excuses spoken
I know I’m mostly silent
but I ain’t being golden
Perhaps you secretly wish I’d talk to you
the way I used to
like I fear silently
whether you’ll really listen to me
or just give me some more scrutiny
Never judge anyome
‘though I couldn’t help
when you decided to ridicule me
for being surrounded by boys
I chose to call friends
Are you coming home tonight?
I’m waiting for you
I’d rather stay up
because your phone cannot be reached through
Where are you now?
