Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
The secondhand poem
you once wrote for me
now used to woo another lady
Boy, you’re so lazy!
If she knew the backstory,
she’d be displeased
I am way past that envy
or that so-called jealousy.
Just a silent observer
to the oblivious or ignorant
to the fact that we’re all different
and the universe always has a way
Never judge anyome
‘though I couldn’t help
when you decided to ridicule me
for being surrounded by boys
I chose to call friends
She's been dismissed
belittled
considered a freak and overly sensitive
'though she believes
something's got to give
The world is growing older
I still keep coming back for more
every year, as a reminder
hopefully, to turn you better
How have you been?
No, sir!
Where did you get the idea
that it was about comfort?
Where’s your empathy?
Your statement has caused a lot of hurt
“How do I catch a monster?”
I’m probably one of the few girls
who asks such a question.
I’ll definitely startle
those who look at me and wonder:
I’m enjoying my silence as you fall
I could do the dance and amuse them all
No, I’m staying still
waiting for the news
before going in for the kill
Sometimes your blood runs cold
at the sight before you
You may be bold
spitting out what’s true
Pent-up anger inside
Your ignorance is not my bliss
but what do you care, right?
Not so much you miss
yet alone I must fight
I’ve stopped expecting you
They all say the same cliché:
“It’s better to have loved than none at all.”
Our story had been short and not worth it,
yet I’ve been cursed with this ability;
this giant elephant memory.
We’re not in school anymore
but grown-ups for sure
although some are adults
only by the digits of their age
but with such questionable attitude