Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
I can write
about all the things
I find alright
I’ll let you think
this is about you
I've been transported back in time
something familiar
yet also bizarre
the same old Twilight Zone
with the same old Culture of Silence
How can you catch a break
at the never-ending hurdles before you?
The bumps and cracks are nothing new.
More endless tasks to finish too.
Sysyphus must’ve been a human pinball,
How do I let you go?
They wonder if I’m in denial.
I’m not putting up on a show,
just you – on a pedestal.
I was glad to see you that night.
“How do I catch a monster?”
I’m probably one of the few girls
who asks such a question.
I’ll definitely startle
those who look at me and wonder:
You use your bitter past
to ensure their hopes won’t last.
“Be realistic,”
that’s what you always say
making sure your message sticks.
I know I haven’t
been that kind
not with tons on my mind
I’m still back on my feet
feeble but keeping up
with these erratic beats
Go ahead
Just pretend you’ve never done anything bad
My suffering is what you claim
as me, playing the victim
The longer this calamity lasts,
Backstabbers are such cowards
They spread lies
but they can’t harm this already broken heart
and I’ve got no more tears left to cry
Say it to my face
I must do what’s right
kicking you out
out of my sight
You were never mine
I was stupid and blind
but now I’m fine
Call me by my name
Know who I am
It’s my identity
if you wish to speak to me
It’s a simple request
