Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
(Dark Thoughts of The Bullied)
It's more than a vacant space
or lack of expression on one's face
It doesn't contain nothing,
I can never really get rid of you,
can I?
No matter what I do
or how I should often lie
while trying hard not to cry
Love is weird
Sometimes it ignites my fear
Maybe it’s often mistaken
confused with a sad obsession
You think he’s the one
Why are you still fighting?
I thought my visit would keep you calm.
I thought you’d be hanging around,
with me for this whole month,
from dawn to dusk, dusk to dawn
saying prayers to Him.
Create your own stories
for the sake of your guts and glory
fiction or real
depending how you feel
Social media
You’ll probably see me
an offbeat character at this party
a plain, simple girl-next-door
wondering what she could possibly offer
What? Who??
It’s not that you still mean to me
This is for a precaution only
to all the ladies
whom you haven’t fooled to please
you and only you
in the name of your ‘needs’
Once in a while,
It’s only a few steps away
just to get to you
yet it also feels like miles
perhaps even days
that I have to go through
Make sure you have something
worth watching for
because you demand
your audience’s attention,
taking up their time
absorbing their energy
I sometimes fall asleep
and find myself there again
back to the same quiet streets
and my two best friends
I miss those peaceful streets
You may associate white
with beauty or purity
All I see is what looks empty
like a page or a canvass
for a writer or a painter
Must we wait
until something explodes?
We’re still the living bodies
in the same room of silence
Avoid the gaps and the holes
