Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
It’s the environment
I’d rather not be in
full of such impossible demands
and scolding remarks
for my lack of perfection
The power abuse:
“People should be in order.”
Oh, yeah – have you been their best example(s)?
It’s your stupid, double standard
that makes it really, really hard
I read your sweet words on the screen
enough what I’ve seen
I bet you wish you were there
right where she’s always been
She’s had her head in the clouds
Are you afraid of my face?
I am human too,
just like you.
This face represents me.
This is part of my identity.
How to recognise me,
There’s still that hailstorm in my heart
The ice is solid
a perfect, although temporary patch
to fill the holes in its walls
I’m feeling cold
Another episode
an inner push to an automatic mode
a buzzing chainsaw in my ears
My vision wasn’t crystal-clear
It was the same old alien
A house, a family
Material things
Everything’s lovely
All the joy they bring
Will they always represent ‘home’?
They said I should’ve stayed longer
Perhaps it’s true
You’ve made me feel better
I owe it all to you
It’s the place where I could be
Stay awake
Tons of work that always wait
No time to waste
Not many choices anyway
Ask me not
Oh, Casanova-wannabe
Who are you, really?
So you still haven’t given up on me
How to make you see?
Stop acting like you’re oh-so-desirable
A mismatched emotion
A complete opposite to the sun
Free, off the hook for a while
From work that has tied you down
What’s with the blues?
Someday,
all will be discovered
He’ll be caught
persecuted, like he’s always deserved
