Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
Be grateful that I’ve kept quiet
as you blab to every pair of ear
who probably refuse to hear
your sob stories
your endless miseries
Hey.
It’s the new me.
This time, no mercy.
I’ve had enough, you see?
Brand new armour
Come...
Come back...
Come back to us...
Come back to use, please...
Every line’s a trigger
This ain’t no desperation
I’m just contemplating
weighing my options
seriously considering
Yes, we don’t get to choose
Are you ready
to be what you’ve always wanted
like dreams inside your head
instead of nightmares causing dread?
We can still see each other,
thanks to the webcam on our computers
or hear each other on our phones.
Still,
some things are irreplacable.
It’s the environment
I’d rather not be in
full of such impossible demands
and scolding remarks
for my lack of perfection
They all say the same cliché:
“It’s better to have loved than none at all.”
Our story had been short and not worth it,
yet I’ve been cursed with this ability;
this giant elephant memory.
I’d like to be
right in-between
asleep and awake
Is it too hard to take?
It’s the only place
The world outside?
It can be chaotic.
God Does What God Likes.
What we break, God May Fix
or Leave Shattered, just like that.
It’s not that you still mean to me
This is for a precaution only
to all the ladies
whom you haven’t fooled to please
you and only you
in the name of your ‘needs’
The dawn isn’t close enough,
yet I am jolted awake
from a dream that felt
like a time machine,
throwing me back to the past, so mean.
