Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
“Oh, I am so ordinary.”
Is that what you see, right there in the mirror?
Can’t you be something more?
You think you know you.
That’s not what you do.
I wish I had my rose-coloured glasses,
so I could see the colours of your optimism.
You say we can be stronger than our painful wounds.
Maybe it’s true.
Maybe I could play the same role again too.
Oh, you only mean so well
Of course, with the same old lines
Such familiar lies
while saving your own face
is always your best interest
How can you catch a break
at the never-ending hurdles before you?
The bumps and cracks are nothing new.
More endless tasks to finish too.
Sysyphus must’ve been a human pinball,
Oh, how we long for you to be
returning home, still healthy
after having sailed away
leaving us waiting by the bay.
The vast ocean hasn’t shown
I had the strangest, most vivid dream.
I heard your voice, faintly somewhere in the distance,
yet my phone was still off and charging.
Was it my imagination?
Was my mind playing tricks on me again?
Stay awake
Tons of work that always wait
No time to waste
Not many choices anyway
Ask me not
How do I stop caring for you,
after those years of closeness?
How do you go from warm to cold?
Are those elements of indifference you now hold?
How did you do that?
Half the sound is faintly barricaded
as I turn to the left
The other half is still safe
as I turn to the right
I fear of slowly losing the ability
You’ll never know
but he misses the old days
when you seemed to love him so,
in your arms, he’d felt safe and protected.
You only see
No, she’s not just asleep.
She’s not even fainted.
Can’t you tell that she’s already dead?
It takes more than countless tries to shake her awake..
You can’t even make her snap out of it.
Run, run away
You, with no shame
Never return, not a day
I’ll remember your name
with sickness in me