Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
The dawn isn’t close enough,
yet I am jolted awake
from a dream that felt
like a time machine,
throwing me back to the past, so mean.
I’ve been blinded by biased simplicity,
seeing things in black and white, so literally.
The shame’s still within me,
‘though I know I’m not the one and only.
Have your minds also been corrupted,
INTRO:
Welcome to the class of life.
Experience is your teacher.
Here's your lesson:
Go ahead and ask me
to write you something happy
as I stare at a page so empty
I can write something trivial
mundane, daily activities
You say it's just a talk,
like normal people making a conversation
It's part of being social,
despite the annual scrutiny and judgment
"Hello, there
I think I’ve run out of sedatives
just to numb the pain within.
I know, they can be addictive,
but I can’t deal with my feelings.
These days, they can be overwhelming.
Will I see you
sometime in the near future?
You sound sure
You keep convincing me
your intention is true
I had to leave you
behind me, before 2023
My messages have gone unreplied
You were probably busy
and I chose to be kind
by not accusing you of pure ignorance
Are you ready
to be what you’ve always wanted
like dreams inside your head
instead of nightmares causing dread?
Be grateful that I’ve kept quiet
as you blab to every pair of ear
who probably refuse to hear
your sob stories
your endless miseries
Say what you like,
do what you will
Let your words be the strike,
if you're in for the kill
Say what you mean,
Who died and made you god?
You make me crack up
Such an attention-seeker,
still desperate to be heard
asking for worshippers
