Poems by Spike Milligan

All Poems Original Poems Translations

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I Must Go Down To The Sea Again

I must go down to the sea again,

to the lonely sea and the sky;

I left my shoes and socks there -

I wonder if they're dry?

Spike Milligan

Down The Stream The Swans All Glide

Down the stream the swans all glide;

It's quite the cheapest way to ride.

Their legs get wet,

Their tummies wetter:

I think after all

The bus is better

Spike Milligan

The Dog Lovers

So they bought you

And kept you in a

Very good home

Central heating

A deep freeze

A very good home-

No one to take you

Spike Milligan

Look At All Those Monkeys!

Look at all those monkeys

Jumping in their cage.

Why don't they all go out to work

And earn a decent wage?

How can you say such silly things,

And you a son of mine?

Imagine monkeys travelling on

The Morden-Edgware line!

Spike Milligan

Philip Le Barr

Philip Le Barr,

Was knocked down by a car,

On the road to Mandalay.

He was knocked down again

By a dust cart in Spain

And again in Zanzibar.

So,

He travelled at night

Spike Milligan

The Lion

If you're attacked by a Lion

Find fresh underpants to try on

Lay on the ground quite still

Pretend you are very ill

Keep like that day after day

Perhaps the lion will go away

Spike Milligan

Jumbo Jet

I saw a little elephant standing in my garden,

I said 'You don't belong in here', he said 'I beg your pardon?',

I said 'This place is England, what are you doing here?',

He said 'Ah, then I must be lost' and then 'Oh dear, oh dear'.

'I should be back in Africa, on Saranghetti's Plain',

'Pray, where is the nearest station where I can catch a train?'.

He caught the bus to Finchley and then to Mincing lane,

And over the Embankment, where he got lost, again.

Spike Milligan

I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas

I'm walking backwards for Christmas,

Across the Irish Sea,

I'm walking backwards for Christmas,

It's the only thing for me.

I've tried walking sideways,

And walking to the front,

But people just look at me,

And say it's a publicity stunt.

Spike Milligan

Eurolove

I cannot

and I will not

No, I cannot love you less

Like the flower to the butterfly

The corsage to the dress

She turns my love to dust

my destination empty

my beliefs scattered: Diaspora!

Spike Milligan

Bazonka

Say Bazonka every day

That's what my grandma used to say

It keeps at bay the Asian Flu'

And both your elbows free from glue.

So say Bazonka every day

(That's what my grandma used to say)

Don't say it if your socks are dry!

Or when the sun is in your eye!

Spike Milligan

Have A Nice day

'Help, help, ' said a man. 'I'm drowning.'

'Hang on, ' said a man from the shore.

'Help, help, ' said the man. 'I'm not clowning.'

'Yes, I know, I heard you before.

Be patient dear man who is drowning,

You, see I've got a disease.

I'm waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.

So do be patient please.'

Spike Milligan

Bongaloo

"What is a Bongaloo, Daddy?"

"A Bongaloo, Son," said I,

"Is a tall bag of cheese

Plus a Chinaman's knees

And the leg of a nanny goat's eye."

"How strange is a Bongaloo, Daddy?"

"As strange as strange," I replied.

"When the sun's in the West

Spike Milligan