A Silly Poem

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,

I'll draw a sketch of thee,

What kind of pencil shall I use?

2B or not 2B?

Soldier Freddy

Soldier Freddy

        was never ready,

But! Soldier Neddy,

        unlike Freddy

Was  always ready

        and steady,

That's why,

    When Soldier Neddy

Standing Room Only

This population explosion

Said Peter to St. Paul

Is really getting far too much

Just look at the crowd in the hall.

Even here, in Heaven

There isn't any room

I think the world could do with less

Much less fruit in the womb.

Omen Of Emptiness

The clock has turned enough

to reach a planet

Life is endless night

I hear wings beating in

the dark of my room

A giant Raven is waiting –

for me to fall asleep.

Scorflufus

There are many diseases,

That strike people's kneeses,

Scorflufus! is one by name

It comes from the East

Packed in bladders of yeast

So the Chinese must take half the blame.

There's a case in the files

Of Sir Barrington-Pyles

Oojah-ka-Piv

The people who live

On the Oojah-ka-Piv

Stand around in bundles of nineWhen asked how it feelsThey reply 'Curried Eels'!Otherwise - everything's going fine!

Values '67

Pass by citizen

don't look left or right

Keep those drip dry eyes straight ahead

A tree? Chop it down- it's a danger

to lightning!

Pansies calling for water,

Let 'em die- queer bastards-

Seek comfort in the scarlet, labour

Maveric

Maveric Prowles

Had Rumbling Bowles

That thundered in the night.

It shook the bedrooms all around

And gave the folks a fright.

The doctor called;

He was appalled

When through his stethoscope

Why?

American Detectives

Never remove their hats

When investigatin

g murdersIn other people's flats.P.S. Chinese TecsAre far more dreaded!And they always appearBare-headed!

Go North, South, East, And West, Young Man

Drake is going west, lads

So Tom is going East

But tiny Fred

Just lies in bed,

The lazy little beast.

Contagion

Elephants are contagious!

Be careful how you tread.

An Elephant that's been trodden on

Should be confined to bed!

Leopards are contagious too.

Be careful tiny tots.

They don't give you a temperature

But lots and lots - of spots.

If I Could Write Words

If I could write words

Like leaves on an autumn forest floor,

What a bonfire my letters would make.

If I could speak words of water,

You would drown when I said

"I love you."