On Don Surly
Don Surly, to aspire the glorious name
Of a great man, and to be thought the same,
Makes serious use of all great trade he know.
He speaks to men with a Rhinocerotes' nose,
Which he thinks great; and so reads verses too,
And that is done as he saw great men do.
He has timpanies of business in his face,
And can forget men's names with a great grace.
He will both argue and discourse in oaths,
Both which are great; and laugh at ill-made clothes—
That's greater yet—to cry his own up neat.
He doth, at meals, alone his pheasant eat,
Which is main greatness; and at his still board
He drinks to no man; that's, too, like a lord.
He keeps another's wife, which is a spice
Of solemn greatness. And he dares, at dice,
Blaspheme God greatly, or some poor hind beat
That breathes in his dog's way; and this is great.
Nay more, for greatness' sake, he will be one
May hear my epigrams, but like of none,
Surly, use other arts; these only can
Style thee a most great fool, but no great man.
Contextual notes: L1 - 'Don Surly' - Don Surly was not a specific person. Johnson was talking rather of surly people in general. The Spanish title 'Don' was added because it was thought, at the time, that Spaniards were pompous and uppityL3 - 'trade' - tricksL4 - with a Rhinocerotes' nose' - with and upturned noseL7 - 'timpanies' - sweelings, tumors; a figure for prideL13 - 'still board' - his solitary dinner tableL14 - 'spice' - speciesL17 - 'hind' - rustic